Sunday, April 03, 2005

Rants & Introduction

Well I've never posted to this blog before. I used to have one over at livejournal, but some of their business practices annoyed me. in addition to that my journal attracted the attention of some... "un-wanted elements" that i just plain didn't want to deal with anymore. Enter Google. Google, for all the cooperate monstrosity they are, have also been very close with the open source community, they make a good number of their tools free for use, and in general seem to be nice altruistic individuals, a true rarity in the technology industry I'm afraid. So I figured i would give their Blog service a try. so far i'm liking it.

Me, I'm a 26 year old male, with a lot of problems, but for the most part, I'm okay with that, I mean, i may complain from time to time, but that's what journals are for right? a lot of bad shit has happened to me in the past. Although had my life been different, i would not be who I am today. If I had not been persecuted as a child, I probably would not be so open minded. Had my father not treated me poorly, i probably would not be as loving and caring as I am with my own son. All in all I've had some pretty good stuff too. I've seen & experienced, many things, that most people haven't. So it's all a game of give & take. Frankly, most of my childhood sucked. My teenage years, were really really good. my first few years post-school were not so bad. The last few years have kind of sucked.

My family consists of 4 individuals. Myself, My finance, A Beautiful woman, who has been the most supportive and caring person I know. She is a Deep person ,with love of writing, & art in many forms. We met online, I was attempting to assemble a few people for some online Role-playing (White-Wolfs vampire in case your wondering). At about that time i lost computer access for a couple weeks, due to an angry father with a hammer. So when I got back, I had several messages from someone I didn't recognize. That is the short & sweet of how we met. :) Our newborn son, just over 2 months he is the greatest joy I know. Never at any point in my life, have I felt anything, like I feel when I hold his little hands, and he looks right into my eyes. and we just sort of... connect.

Then the final member of the family is my cat. Shadow, is a large dark-grey haired cat of indeterminate breed. about 6 years ago, shortly after me & Erica moved in together, her cousin had a young kitten follow her home. Her cousin asked us to watch the kitten, just for a weekend, until a new home was found for it. Supposedly a home had been found, but the man was out of town and wouldn't be back until Monday. Well, as you might have guessed already, a weekend turned to a week ,a week into a month and well, he really is part of the family now. I wouldn't trade him for all the world.

So that's my little Family. Our current status, Both of us are jobless, we have moved 8 times in the last 6 years. I never completed college, nor has she, neither of us has acar, those two things alone make the job search difficult. To compound matters, my back suffered an injury some years ago. I never had a lot of money, even when I was working it was mostley minimum wage, and i never had insurance benefits, my dad, didn't give a shit, and my mom couldn't do anythign without my dad getting involved. So i never got to see a doctor about it. Since i injured it, I've also gained over 100 lbs. At the time of the injury, I was between 160 and 180. It's hard to recall as it was almost 10 years ago. I'm now 320lbs. Excessive weight gain does NOT help a lower back injury. But this is where the good news comes in. I never qualified for medicaide, because it was determined that my back injury could probably be fixed in under 3 months. To be honest I wasn't to keen on getting assistance anyway, I want to work, I'm looking for work , but right now I can't do anything that would require me to stand or walk a lot. Basically I'm looking for a desk job, but without a college degree...... anyway, you get the idea. But then we found out Erica was pregnant, a strange & long story in and of itself. When this happened, Welfare/assistance stuff change,d instead of me & Erica being two separate people ,we were now considered a “family unit” so what one person qualifies for we all qualify for. So me, & Erica, & little baby, all get, food stamps, cash assistance, and Medical. This means that hopefully I can get my back fixed, get a job, & then get off the assistance altogether.

So that's me, that's a portion of my life, I k